“I was born in the wrong generation”

- Cried the dopamine addicted twenty-something

For the longest time, I refused to be engulfed in the world of the Gilmore Girls. I avoided watching the show like the plague for no reason other than my Sister always said her celebrity lookalike was Alexis Bledel (watching it back, she wasn't entirely wrong).

When you're 8, your relationship with your teenage older Sister is...complicated. While she was a 15-year-old know-it-all smacking her Smucker’s in her Ugg boots and a denim mini-skirt, I was the tomboy fighting for her life in the JCPenney's boys section, begging my mom for the latest pair of Air Jordans from Finish Line. We were complete opposites. And much like the stereotypical liberal in a class full of finance bros, I spent most of my youth fighting her ever-present condescension

Now, in adulthood, the truth I've found is that change is inevitable. While I didn't like my Sister on any level growing up, we've ultimately found common ground and love for one another. We all grow and learn to let go; my Sister now has a bleach-blonde balayage removing her Bledel Lookalike Card, and I hung up my Nike Pros and morphed into Haley Williams circa 2012.

Looking back, I probably needed the Gilmore Girls more than anyone in my family. Having let go of my melodramatic distaste for all things girlie and sister-related, at 27, I've found a new joy and appreciation for the show. Also, Little Me would have seen Lorelei's defiance just as heroic and aspirational as Big Me does today.

As I decided to delve into the world of Gilmore this winter, I found myself increasingly jealous of Rory. Sure, Lorelei is one to be coveted, but there was something about Rory that made me...mad? Was it her adorable demeanor, her insane metabolism, her wit and intelligence, her relationship with her mother, or maybe it's just childhood resentment for my Sister floating to the surface? All of the above is probably the correct answer, but there was an element of envy I couldn’t put my finger on. That is until I the show lost my attention and I needed my midday Instagram scroll.

The thing I was most jealous of was her lack of technology. Watching her develop and grow without the judgmental omnipresence of social media made me sick. Do you mean to tell me a kid could exist in peace without being targeted by the Sugar Bear hair care line endorsed by the Kardashians? What a world.

Yes, I was jealous of the Rory’s, and every other teenager of the early 2000s' ability to be entirely off-grid. Unfortunately, I, a 1997 child with no clue where I should technically belong in the generational timeline, (if you call me a Zillenial, I'll scream), was envious of high school Rory's complete ability to just be a kid—living in her town, reading her books, utterly unaware of the latest celebrity "it bag." Ignorance is truly bliss when it comes to multi-million dollar marketing plans.

IMAGINE waking up as a teenager without your first instinct being to scroll on social media mindlessly. IMAGINE not being so connected to the people around you that you can enjoy a book without craving a dopamine hit. In the words of your favorite 1999 Christian rock band Mercy Me, I can only f**king imagine.

Imagining a teenagerhood without the use of Instagram seems like a fever dream. While I am thankful for the likes of Pinterest and Instagram for giving me - an ignorant girl in Rural Nebraska - access to the world's creativity, I think my life would have been better not knowing that Susie and her family just went on their 10th annual Cancun vacation last week.

Social Media was where I first discovered how beautiful an Alberta Ferretti dress looks at sunset on the coast of Italy. It's where I first learned about depression and anxiety; it's where I first learned about heartbreaking, and empowering, stories of the LGBTQIA+ community. Yes, Social media was pivotal in giving me access to stories and information I could never receive in my public education system or my Lutheran confirmation classes. For that, I will always be thankful. To have been able to access information not readily available to me, or information that the grown-ups in my life were too scared to talk about.

PRESENT DAY

As I learned in many books and religious stories growing up, there is no light without darkness, and the studies and statistics show that social media, in all its glory, is not without consequence. The depression that a social media therapist educated me on and told me was okay to feel in 2015 has been amplified by the same algorithm pushing me to constantly feel like I am behind.

That I don't have enough stuff.

That I need ozempic to have the perfect jawline.

That I truly just can’t live without controlling my cortisol without this supplement.

Yes, the place that once truly made me feel seen and safe has now pulled its support and been riddled with links in bios, life-changing lip-glosses, and mind-numbing influencer beef.

As if the consumerism and life comparison pushed via the internet from 2016-2024 weren't bad enough, we now have political agendas, misinformation, and videos that genuinely make me want to gouge my eyes out. I can't tell you how many videos I've sarcastically shared with friends under the quotation, "If I had to suffer, so do you." Yes, social media is changing, and it is scary. I understand the push to delete everything and boycott the likes of the tech bros.

After the election, I decided that Facebook was not a positive space to be in anymore. At first, I just started unfriending the questionable people, but then I thought about it more profoundly.

"Do I even care what my high school science lab partner is up to?"

The answer was no, but I hesitated to unfriend them because it felt 'personal.' I felt 'mean' for no longer allowing this person to see my life through a screen. He had done nothing wrong, but the fear of hurting his feelings was ever-present. Weird.

But that’s the monster of social media. It makes you perceive a connection for greater than it’s worth. We all get too attached to that person we brushed shoulders with once at a concert, that horrible first date we never texted again, or that random stranger you met to meet for coffee, but never actually did. The reality is, and was, that I lived 2000 miles away from my hometown, and would probably never speak to him again in my life - it really wasn’t that personal. I could wish them well, but also wish to not be an observer of their life and vice versa.

What's seen today as an act of radicalism, I deleted my Facebook account altogether and minimalized my Instagram connections. So far, life seems to be going on.

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading my rambling. All this to say is that your social media is your social media. Follow the accounts that bring you joy, give you researched information, and inspire you. For me personally, influencers, Hailey Bieber, and Tiffany from Econ 101 don't do that. I see social media as a resource for stories and a way to feel inspired, and I'm no longer going to feel bad about curating it as such. If you needed the push to delete ‘Jeff’ from accounting, here's me telling you the digital world isn't as cool as your inner one or the one in front of you. Do it and forget that man.

While part of me will always wish to have lived like 2002 Rory, I know Rory would have loved growing up following the New York Times and John Greene, and she would've had the most significant following on good reads. She would have curated her feed to be unapologetically her (at least until season 5), and it's what we all need to do during this time. Damned if my calculus partner's feelings get hurt.